It's getting cooler, finally. Got my heater out last night. Damn, it's rusty. Though, nothing beats a heater on a cold day. I can just sit here forever. Ahh, aumtumn is here. My favourite season of the year, totally. Already I can see those brown leaves falling. Pity those having to get rid of them, though. But for now, let me just enjoy the scene.
I can't say this enough, but heater on a cold day~~ It's just so relaxing~ What a great start in the morning. Ok, it's not morning anymore but I just woke up. Period.
Damn, if I sit here any longer I'm gonna fall straight back to sleep. Better get up and fix something to eat.
Heater on a cold day~
It's like orgasm with a push of a button!

Finally a great night sleep. Totally refreshing! Only 4 days left before resuming to my usual routine. Well, not that holiday is THAT much different to begin with.
Want to do housekeeping stuff today.Grocery shopping and stuff. Sigh~

I'm taking a huge breathe! One-week break is here and I'm trying to make the most out of it! A loooong well-deserved rest, catch up with as many people as possible, but also (sadly) clear as many assignments as my tired mind allows.
Feeling like I just put everything on hold since Uni started, and possibly missed the finer things in life doing so. Not sure what they are, or maybe I'm just too afraid to admit. Changes are inevitable, but do you have to lose something along the way? How do you know when it's time to compromise, and when it's time to take a stand?
Time, changes, differences. Time, changes, differences, sacrifices. Is that a pattern written in stone? I'm learning to think with my head, and trying not to regret it. What worries me more is, am I really going in the direction that I want to? I don't know why I'm having doubts now. Been going strong for the past months. I hope it's just a passing phase.
So much that I want to say, so much so that I don't know where to start. Maybe I'm just afraid of what it will lead to. Maybe I'm just being me. Well, when the time comes...I'll just wait and see for now.

With love, to all my friends.

Hope I'm not boring everyone with all the ramblings that revolve only around my work. Seriously, that's the only thing occupying my life right now. That being said...
Yosh! Finally done with the last studio project before the mid-session break. Just have to survive a presentaion tomorrow and all's well. Anyway, 3 days wasted on this... and I'm pretty satisfied too. Really wanting to reward myself, hehehe. Maybe will catch Ice Age tomorrow or something! Hahaha.






Just a little explanation: It's a model of a space showcasing 2 displays (the painting on the upper level and that sculpture in the middle of a pond in the garden-like thingy). It's pretty much an open area, half-indoor/outdoor kinda thing. I know I ought to add in some fencing on the upper level to prevent anyone from falling to their death, but oh well. :p

Working on my last design piece before the mid-session break. I'm quite optimistic about this one. Showed the idea to my teacher yesterday, and he liked the concept. For a change, I was really happy! Especially when he passed me the mark for my previous work. I managed to get a pass for it, though just barely. He also said that getting that mark from him was "respectable" (??) and that I'm not falling behind the other students considering the design I came up with the current project. In a way it's nice to hear, as long as I don't think about it too much! ^____^
Have 3 days to make a perfect job out of it. Do or die, it totally depends on myself!
Ps: Here are some images of my initial idea. It's made of just paper and is really tiny. Anyway, of course, by now I made quite a lot of modifications to it. Definitely liking the recent one more.

Where I stand...

My losing streak (hopefully) ends today. It appeared that my teacher didn't share the same fondness with my model as I do. Wheareas he provided constuctive comments to the works of others, he just pointed out his doubts about mine. Fine, I can live with that. The worse part was, the model itself wasn't assessed. Rather, we had to do sectional drawings and submit them by the end of the day. I couldn't finish mine, there was no time to do shading (which was probably the most important part, considering the project was about lighting effect). In the end I produced a half completed work. What of the model? It's practically useless now. So much effort put into making the model, thinking that it carried 15% of the course mark. In the end it's some stupid drawings which I totally messed up. It's really a pain to think about.
There I had it, a week full of negative criticism. Just spent an hour by myself, reflecting about this whole deal. It seems that if I want to be in this line of work, I have to be much stronger. Discouraging but true, but my work will be criticised on a regular basis. I have to be prepared to take a hit head on. Like the previous model... the night upon its completion I was the happiest person, but things can turn 180 the next day. That's going to happen a lot, and I have to live with it.
Will give myself an hour, or two, more to swallow the cold truths. Then I'll somehow pick myself up and continue with other assignments. Just got another one today, the last studio project before mid-session break in 2 weeks.

I'm so tired, but soooo happy as well! I just completed my assignment for today! Gosh, took me an average of 5 hours in one week to get it done! It's my darling! Isn't she just sexy?!?!?! Installed the roofs today, and met with way too many complications with my original plan. In the end I had to play safe and went with the boring style....Well, it's definitely not, but to me it's (near)PERFECT! Ahhh.... just hope my teacher feels the same during assestment tomorrow!
Been so busy ever since my dad came last Saturday. He stayed until Tuesday, on which he attended my brother's graduation. I was there, too, and it's awesome. The atmosphere was just so overwhelming! A few years down the road and it'd be my turn...HOPEFULLY! I'm really pushing my limits just trying to deliver acceptable work. Gosh, I think I'm underperforming, even.
Anyway, during the length of my dad's stay, I didn't get the chance to do much work at all. I was out everyday and by the time I got home late at night I'd be so tipsy from drinking at dinner to do my assignments properly. What bad timing too! I submitted a rushed piece of draft for my history assignment on Tuesday and barely got a pass for it. Thursday's submission was really bad as well, good thing it's not assessed...
Damn... I think I'm sacrificing so much to keep up with all the work. I don't get to spend time with anyone both online and in real life. It's always straight home to work after class. Not to mention the consecutive late nights (or early mornings, to be precise). So often I thought about giving up and just withdraw from the course, which is probably kind of stupid anyway. I'm just going to give it a go for at least a year. It's going to be really tiring for me, though. Could use a nice vacation or something! Haha.
Right, no time to savour my victory. Heaps of work left to be done, especially the one for History course which is due next Tuesday. Already screwed the draft up, not intending to do the same for the real thing. And as if that's not already enough, I just got 2 new group assignments on Thursday. Both look awfully tedious, too. Cheer for me...

Redemption

I have a lecture in six hours... Still wondering if I should get some sleep, or maybe I'll just stay up all night. The past 2 days were probably the most unproductive ones for me so far. Since Friday night I had planned a to-do list of assignments. That was probably the furthest I went to to completing ANYTHING! Just got this pang of laziness all of a sudden. Got so happy on Friday night when I managed to get a good night sleep of nine hours (it's been sooooo long!). Though, I guess I kinda over-pampered myself too much the following days. Everytime intended to do an assignment, I'd just sit and blank out. I had zero incentive!
So, feeling a little guilty today! Hehehe. At least I'm feeling much better now that I've got something done. Just completed two essays and thought of updating this blog, so here I am. Still a long, long way to go , though. Many other assignments that should've been done in the past few days are left unfinished. Looks like it's going to be a long week for me (again). Just have to keep a positive outlook! I can do it! Muahahaha!

"Time" is such a funny concept. It's constant but seems to have a mind of its own. It crawls during a boring lecture, but flies by so quickly each week that you feel unproductive in your work. It takes forever to deliver you weekends, but they always end in a blink of an eye. Hours of sleep each night feels like a 5-minute nap and hours feel like seconds when you can't sleep. Day and night are a split second away, yet summer just never ends. Datelines are always approaching even though you feel like you just received those assignments yesterday. What's the difference between a month, a week, and a day? Time flies through them anyway and yet, it doesn't seem fast enough for my hair to grow!
I'm busy, buzy, busssssy, buzeeeee, bc bc bc bc bc bc.....

Think POSITIVE, mate!

Coolness... week 2 is upon us! After days of frantically trying to digest that shit-load of info from week 1, I've finally managed to center my thoughts! Got everything organised, sorted out the must-do list, and etc. Gosh, it wasn't fun but things are definitely looking up. Well, in a sense.Anyway.
So right now I have this huge "box of artefact" project going on. It's quite embarrassing but, when everyone else is going "Hey, I've got an idea for that project. How about you?", I'm still in my little stone age trying to get a clearer picture of what we're supposed to do for it! Afterall, does anyone remember that I missed a lecture last week? I do... and it wasn't pretty. But I'm slowly getting there, though. Making a slow progress here (like... from stage 0/10 to 0.5/10), but I will get there...eventually. Just hope that it's not too late! Also hopefully there'll be a discussion on it again this Thursday and if not, I'll look for a lecturer. Hope he's nice.... -_-"
Besides that project, I have to constantly remind myself that I have to tackle 2 weekly journals! One for computing which needs to be submitted in "electronically"(still no idea how) every week. And the other for architectural technology (environment) which needs to be in as a compilation after a month or so. Right... got to get started as I've done none so far! T-T
Lastly, as of today, I got this assignment on the topic "concept of proportion". Apparently, it's ultra important and there'll be a big, long-term assignment on it later on in the course. The problem is... what the F*** is it about??!?!?! I read the article, had a discussion in tutorial today, thought about it again and again... I still have no idea! Like... "Golden Section" or "Le Corbusier's Modulor"... gosh! Never been so clueless. Fortunately, I'm not the only one who's in a world of blur-ness. It seems that most people are as confused, too. Anyway, we need to find 5 images that represent any types of proportions emplyed by, say, the Renaissance artists or the Medieval architects...for example. One huge problem... I have no @#$%^& idea how to distinguish them from one another! I'll definitely have to work on that!
Ok... at least I got myself on the right path, managed to address all the problems and obstacles. Now I just have to do something about them! *sob*

4th day, a cherry on top of a horrible week...

It was the calm after the storm... or rather the eye of a tornado. It was studio today from 1-6pm (!)... It wasn't so bad, despite the freaking long hours, until I found out that I was using an inappropriate drawing block after spening hours sketching in it. Damn, hope I can fix it without having to redo everything. That is going to suck...
Here's the shit part. When I made my student card yesterday, I received a slip of paper which contained my password for online access to uni websites. Previously I could enter those sites with a password that I set for myself, but I guess they changed it automatically when I got the card. So... guess what happened? I was being "good" today and was taking out the trash. Yep... and typically I took out my password as well. Now I can't even get the online lecture notes! Come on! I'm trying to be hardworking here!
It doesn't end there... the fact that it's Australia and today being Friday, it means that I have to wait until next week before I could retrieve my password and gain access to those sites again...
What a great start to a new year, right?

3rd day, Environmental sustainability and (ir)responsibility

What do you know? Only the 3rd day of session and already I missed a lecture! Fuck! Damn my alarmclock! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~~ It's Architectural Technology and it has the highest units of credits out of all the courses I'm taking. Worse, we were given an assignment which accounts for 12.5% of this course. Not bad enough? Well... sample completed projects were shown and, from what I heard, they looked so damn complicated. Yeah, I agree. Borrowed my friend's handouts and as I'm reading it right now I can hardly visualise how it's supposed to look like. Shit! I'm so screwed! Oh, one more thing. We were assigned our group after the lecture and the most I found out is I'm in the "last group". Whatever that means...
At least I attended the afternoon lecture. It's like another half of this course. Whereas the morning one deals with technical aspect (that's what I'm thinking, since I didn't attend the introductory lecture earlier), this deals with the environmental area. It's like, doing geography (which isn't too bad), but in a stuffy lecture theatre (it's just hell). Naturally we got yet another assignment... *sigh*
The one good thing that happened today? I got my student card! At lesat I did something right, huh?

2nd day's hope....

What have I learned today? Computing sucks...
For this week there's only one lecture today, meaning I need to be in Uni for only an hour. Just so happen that the lecture is "Computer and Information Technology". I was bored to tears (big surprise!). We were given all these notes about course outline, assignments etc etc. Gosh, everything was just a big blur! To top that off, the lecturer is sooooo darn boring with his monotone voice. Man... what did I sign up for?
Well, shall not worry about that. There's still tomorrow.
List of things to do ASAP: 1. Get the damn student card
2. Find out the book list from all lecturers
3. Buy necessary studio equipments
4. Make hard copies of all courses schedules
5. Prepare something for presentation this Friday...
Hope I didn't leave anything out. Damn damn damn...
Well, at least there's a consolation for me today. I finally got back to Kendo training! Omg, how long it has been. It's actually much more fun this time, too. Probably because I'm getting to know everyone better now. The only downside is... I sucked soooo bad. Omg, spent the whole session brushing up on the basics and still not getting them right. HAHAHA, serve me right. Been out of practice for 3 months, man! Though I realised that when I was there during training, I sort of shut everything else out. I was very focus on what I was doing and nothing from Uni or anywhere bugged me at all! I could sure enjoy that state of mind real often.
Though I'm so exhausted from that, too. LOL, totally out of shape. My hands are shaking right about now...

First day craze.

Right, so much for fun and games on my first day. It was straight to serious lectures and assignment... What's with Roman Architectural history lecture on the first day? I mean it's cool and interesting, yeah, but on the first day?!! Damn... I didn't know where head and tail is. And I still don't.
Moving on, how unfair is studio tutorials arrangement???? There are 4 students that I'm pretty close to and another 3 that I'm quite acquainted with, but NONE is in my studio group! I mean, everybody else has someone in his or her group! My group probably has the most number of Caucasian students too, and honestly I'm not really confortable around them like I do with Asians (I'm NOT racist!).
Damn, and there are still so many things for me to do. First of all, I still haven't made my student card yet. Hahaha, always too lazy to join the queue! Plus, I've got to buy textbooks and studio equipments... They are costly, man. Going to be low on cash soon enough! Lucky me....
Lastly, we have a presentation this Friday -_-" Got to bring in an object and explain what makes it a good design, followed by doing a scale drawing of that object... Sigh...

No turning back! Charge!

Alright... Almost to the end of holiday. Week 1 starts tomorrow and ready or not, here I go. Well, technically my first day is on Tuesday. No class on Monday! For both sessions! That means I'll have long weekends for the rest of the year. *Great*~ -_-"
Think I'll be left quite clueless most of the week anyway. With the adjustment and all. By the end of tomorrow I'll be asking friends about their first day. At least I'll get a feel of what it's going to be like. Damn, I get all jittery thinking about it. The lectures, the new faces, studio projects.....
And of course, I still haven't made my student card. Procrastination rules my world.... Hahaha, will do so immediately after the last lesson on MY first day. Now that I think about it, I hope I don't get lost around the campus! I mean, all these names are quite strange to me. Well, I located them on the map but remember how bad I am with directions???? Sigh~~
Right... it's perfectly normal to feel nervous! But things will always turn out well, don't they? Even if they don't always go my way, they can't be so bad, huh? Hahaha... I reckon I'm insane! Great!

Something for everyone

I got a forwarded mail from my sister yesterday. It has some interesting sayings and I feel like shairng some of them... Enjoy!

When you were born, you were crying

and everyone around you was smiling.

Live your life so at the end,

you're the one who is smiling and everyone

around you is crying.

The brightest future will always

be based on a forgotten past;

you can't go forward in life until

you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

The happiest of people don't necessarily

have the best of everything;

they just make the most of

everything that comes along their way.

These are definitely nothing new and I'm sure most of you would have heard of them many times before. Still, I reckon everyone needs a little reminder from time to time... All the best to all of you!

A promising start...

Things are looking brighter for me this time. Somehow I feel much more confident as a person. I can feel it in the way I speak and act. The most notable being the way I can keep my cool when interacting with strangers. I surprised myself on a number of occasions, too. It's as if I shredded off the skin of my old self, revealing this other side. Or, it could be vice versa? Who knows. I'm glad, though... Just hope this is consistent.
I'm desperately clearing up all my "duties" before Friday. Just wanna chill at home before Uni starts next week. Got my brother a birthday present today, revisted Kendo club for the first time after leaving Sydney months ago to return some money I borrowed from a friend (resuming training next week, finally), and stacked up on some food to prevent me from going hungry. All simple chores, really. But it feels much better now that they are out of the way.
I'm not sure, but maybe I can assume that I'm blending in much better now? I just want to find myself a certain identity and stick with it. Like a place in this web of universe. Maybe I'm starting to fit in to where I was meant to be... Even if it's not, I'm more than happy to enjoy this false paradise for as long as it lasts.

Over and New.

Finally and suddenly, I'm back in Sydney. Well, was back here since yesterday actually. Had been awfully busy, though, tidying up my room. Damn, I still can't find my pillow case...
That aside, what a break it had been. I didn't really plan to stay that long, but somehow I ended up in Bangkok for almost 3 months. Actually, I got bored by the end of the first month. So much had happened during the time and the 2 months that followed. Don't think I wanna talk about it too much. It's kinda pointless and I'm not going to blog a full length essay...
So... orientation was earlier this morning. Got to say I'm pretty excited but at the same time nervous by the whole Uni scene. Met quite a number of people I knew from last year in my faculty, so it's a big consolation that I'm not starting a new year all by myself. Sigh... one more week to center my thoughts on the right track. Then it's showtime~

PS: In case anyone's been visiting this page and found nothing for the past months, I guess I owe you an apology!

A little too lost

Sort of enjoying myself here at home. Finally getting to live in simplicity and not care much about anything. It's getting kind of boring every day, though. Probably the monotonious lifestyle, and I'm starving for a change. That reminds me, I'm madly indulging myself to REAL food at home. OMG, felt like forever since I last tasted a nice meal. *GLAD*
Just for the record, it's not really convenient for me to acess the internet like when I was in Sydney. This is actually the first time I came online since I came home. So many things to catch up on.
Hope everyone is doing well. Those having a break, enjoy every single moment before it leaves you. For those still having school, just keep your eyes on the end of the road. Hahaha, miss you guys!~
Thanks Danny for those super cool poems, keep the surprises coming!!

Bitter Sweetness

Yet another feeling of finality. Kind of a little too soon since the previous one, but I wouldn't want it any other way. The feeling is really different. This time it's colder, but also sweeter. It's always at the end when you start to reflect on everything that happened. This year was quite empty, it didn't really mean much to me personally. That probably explains why it feels good when it's all over, but at the same time it feels incredibly empty. Not sure which is better, last year's memorable and joyful but tragic ending, or this one. The comparison is so striking, having one after another so soon. Anyway I just wish myself a better, brighter year ahead, wherever that takes me...
In a little more than 12 hours, I'll be boarding a plane home. Feels somewhat good about it, but not over the top. I don't know, I just feel quite bored. Kinda in need of something different. A different environment, different things to look forward to.

PS: Carol I got your message but have no credit to reply. Thanks!!

Oh gosh!!~~ Time fucking crawls! I woke up at 5.30am today, though not sure why. Just couldn't get back to sleep at all so I decided to get up. My last paper is at 10am.... Now I'm just trying my best to do a last minute revision, but my mind always wanders else where. I'm soooo nervous... I can't believe that it's the last paper already, and I just want to get it over with! Though I can't really say I'm a 100% prepared, I just want to sit for it and KO.
OHHHHHHHH this is killing me! Still 2 more hours to go. SHIT! I'm already fantasising and making plans for the next few days. Graduation ceremony tomorrow... will probably be darn long and boring. Also on that day will be going out at night. Will probably be really tiring and not sure how fun that will be. Stay at home on Friday to clean up the place and pack my luggage. Fianally, my long-awaited flight to Thailand. Everything sounds so beautiful and perfect (almost), but I jsut have to get pass this last paper. And the wait seems like forever! ARGHHHHHHHH~~~~ Can't I just get my death sentence and be done?????? -_-"

Only two more papers to go. Had a wake up call last night, haha. I don't know, but up until yesterday I was absolutely unmotivated to do any revision and all the preparation I did was barely satisfactory. The first 3 papers, Computing theory/prac and English, were all a mess. I felt really disappointed after each paper, even though I consider them to be at the bottom is my priorities. Did the design paper today and frankly, I breezed through the text and available information and content without really absorbing in much of the stuff. It was last night that I had a "panic attack". Hhahaa. I got really nervous all of a sudden. I couldn't sleep so I decided to do a last minute revision, which wasn't much because my mind was constantly elsewhere. All in all, I only managed to get some sleep after 4am. Surprisingly today's paper was much "easier" than I thought. Design theory exam is probably one of the most unpredictable paper I've ever sat for in my freaking life. I was sooo glad that the questions were pretty much approachable, in fact I felt quite confident in my performance afterwards. Anyway I'm much more driven to revise my work too. I'm really glad!! ^_______________^
Maths and Australian Studies (this is the scariest of them all).... good luck to me!

Stress? No stress? My first paper is waiting for me tomorrow, and I'm still feeling... blur? I can't really concentrate on my revision at all. Not sure if it's because there's no "studying" paper this week, or because I'm just darn unmotivated. The 3 papers for this week are English, computing theory, and computing practical. It's the theory paper tomorrow and honestly, I'm really close to the "can't be bothered" zone. I mean, the subject is so very, very dry. Also, this subject has the least credits (Only 6, half of design and english). Basically, I just don't like this subject, can't bring myself to revise it for too long, and feel that it's not wroth the effort. It's probably a really naive concept but I'm pretty sure I'm not going to work on it much more from now until the end of the paper tomorrow. Will probably regret a little for the first half hour after the paper. Oh well...
The first content-based subject will be design, which is on next Monday. Still, it's not really "content-based". It's just so unpredictable, but I'm sure I'll have more drive to revise for that one. Two days after that will be maths, which I'm pretty confident in but for sure will not be complacent. Now.... after math, which is next Wednesday, I'll have a week of study break to prepare myself for the last, and toughest, paper. Australia Studies. It's a heavy subject, but a week of study break for only one paper seems.... adequate. Anyway, I'm not sure if it's reasonable for me to not feel the exam stress. Ahhh...
Scary scary. I was trying to recall what I did for the last few days. One thing I know, I left home for the first time in the last 3 days to grab some food. That was quite... shocking. I mean, I didn't realise that I've been staying in for days without even leaving the house at all. It felt so weird to wear shoes a moment ago. Hehe. Though seriously, I have only a really vague memory of what I did the past few days. Sigh~~ Where's my concentration????

Everything's boring as usual. Just got home from a Visa information session. Definitely helped clear a few things up, but at the same time there are many more things I have to consider regarding my student Visa and Uni offer letters for next year. Anyhow, I hope nothing goes wrong.
Something a little special tomorrow, though. After class there'll be a design exhibition displaying works from this year's design students. One of mine is in (the very first one) ^_____^ Not really looking forward to it that much somehow. I mean, yeah, it might be interesting. With the provided drinks (including alcoholic) and all, but it also means it's going to be a freaking busy day for me tomorrow. Immediately after class at 3pm we have to attend the event. As a design student, I have to stay all the way until 7pm (for whatever reason). When done I have to rush to my kendo training, which starts exactly at 7pm and goes on until 9pm. What a day it's going to be. Sigh...
Hope the exhibition goes well~~~

Belated anniversary

Without realising it it was this blog's birthday a few days ago. Haha. Yeah, one year in the business. Can't believe it's happening so quickly, but I guess that's just the way it is. Time flies, and does even faster as you get older. Haha~~
One more week to go before studying weeks officially end. Following by an exam month and it'll be all over. I'm just so thrilled. I really want to get this over with and finally move on to something bigger. They say Foundation Year is enjoyable and relaxing. I agree to neither! It's been a rollercoaster ride of a year. It's time to take a break. Haha, still a little too early to say. The oh-so-important Finals are just around the corner....
Carol! Have fun! Enjoy your duper long break!

Disappointment? Not so sure...

Good and bad news to self. Last Friday we were given our grade for the design presentation (the killer presentation) we did during the semester. I'm so happy that I did really well, got myself an A for that! Wheeee~~~
Though, I was sort of disappointed with the grade I received for my light model. When I thought I went all the way to produce my best work, I got a B for it. I mean it's not too bad, right? But somehow I just don't feel contented. Ahhh anyway... will forget about it. Doesn't matter anymore!
Just got back from a Kendo training not too long ago. Feeling damn sore all over! More bruises on my palms, too. Nonetheless it was freaking awesome. Monday trainings rock! *I'm losing my voice from all the shouting*

2 more weeks to the end

There are only 2 more weeks before the end of the course, and the start of exams. Personally I'm really glad that it's going to be over really soon. Hhahaa. Feel like I have to get out of here. Basically, my class is really chaotic. Well, more like just one person in the class but since there are only 9 to begin with... Anyway it's really suffocating to go to classes these days. Hahha. Nah, let's forget about it. It's such a childish matter. (I only brought it up because there's nothing to post but I just want to post something). Hhaha.

Almost there...

The final piece! Finally! Gosh... I'm so exhausted by the time I completed this thing. So happy, though. I'm really satisfied with the outcome.
Ok... on to the last part: exploded drawing.

Week of living hell..

Been totally inactive in both the forum and my own blog. Was damn busy for the past week trying to finish my light design. Now I'm 2/3 of the way to the finish. Making the base part and taking the photos today. Will be doing the printing, explosive drawing, concept statement, and putting everything together tomorrow. Damn... by the end of presentation on Monday I'll be a free man!
Throughout the week, I've been making countless trips to art supplies shops. Spent freaking hours on making model, experimenting with materials, and assembling the parts (using trial and error, as usual). I really want to hit the roof with this project! It's the last of the course and with the embarrassing grades of the previous 2, I definitely have to redeem myself! To me, the finishing touches in design work are very dangerous. I tend to get impatient and screw everything up. SO... *breathe*... the work in these few days will either make it or break it. Haha.
With all the work in the week, I've yet to contact the Thai Airways to inquire about the air ticket. I'll do so as soon as possible! Argh! So many things on my mind!
Well, nothing interesting to say anyway. Will probably get back to work as soon as possible. I should be posting up a picture of the finished product by Sunday night.... ^______^ (If not that means something went wrong and I'm busy preparing to face my death sentence on Monday)

The picture on top is a disastrous progress from the previous model. My idea didn't work at all.
The one below is my pride and joy, haha. That's the latest, and final, design. Just have to start doing the real thing now....


Been extremely busy, and will be more than ever for the week to come. Design project 4 is due in one week, and I'm sure I'm behind time. I just finlised the design, dammit.
Anyway, nothing much going on actually. Just work and more work. Trying desperately to finish all the assignments so I can start my revision for the finals. Quite happy with the progress, in general. After tomorrow's english seminar presentation, the only thing to worry about will be this design prject 4. I've completed the journal assessments and the long essay. Yay!
Another thing is the S'pore trip at the end of the year. It's very likely that I have to cancel it. There are quite a number of factors actually and I've been doing a lot of thinking. I have an open ticket to Thailand. I don't think I can use it to go to S'pore, plus I have to use it before it expires (expiry date unknown). I have yet to go to the travel agency to ask about it (will do so as soon as possible), but I doubt I'll be able to change anything. Another issue is money. I was calculating the budget, and it'll be very hard for me to save up enough to buy an air ticket to S'pore. The only way is probably for me not to eat more than a meal a day (no eating out, either) and using household items as seldom as possible. I've done that in the month I got back from S'pore, and it's NOT funny. Seriously. I don't think I can live like that again for 2 months.
So the only way I can go to S'pore is if my current open ticket is re-routable, which is unlikely although I'm still hoping otherwise. Even though I can't put it down in the record yet, I think I'll have to be there next year instead. I'm really sorry about that. You can't imgaine how much I want to be there.

Never before that a week went by so quickly, and I do mean REALLY quickly. Already it's the last day of recess and it's back to school tomorrow. Sigh....
Did so little work! Well, not as much as I initially intended to. Barely any progress in design and there's a consultation tomorrow that I really want to attend. That means I have to come up with something today or at least make an improvement on the draft idea.
Didn't really do anything much at all during the holiday.I think I spent most of my time at the desk chatting. I think I'm killing my eyes too, from staring at either the monitor screen or the tv for far too long for my own good.
Ok, I'm in desperate need of cash. Hahhaa. This month's allowance should be here soon. Rent, book an air ticket, and pay off the debt to my brother. Not even sure if I'll have enough for all those things. Probably depends on which flight I book etc. Anyway, there goes most of my allowance. Sigh...
Ok, looking forward to tomorrow (yeah, right). Giving it my all for the rest of the semester!

PS: Why the hell is it so freaking hot today?!?!?!!? 30 freaking degrees! Oh somebody kill me! If it's going to be like this in summer, think I'm in need of a fan! $$$ again!

Discovery~

Model of my rough design. Was so happy when I came up with this thing... but now the problem is, what's next?? So I've tried to imagine how it'd be like to have light shining from the inside if a bulb were to be in there...



Probably try to tilt it one way or another. Will definitely keep the existing elements though have to do something with the "negative" space.

OMG! Been doing barely any work at all! Up until now I have not complete any assignment... Almost done with english presentation and journal assessments though, but those were meant to be done since Monday or Tuesday at the latest! Shit, I'm so behind time! As sure as hell to finish them today! So I can finally start on my design and english essay... the tough ones... haiz... 5 more days left!
Last night was kendo's final beginner lesson. It was such an exhausting training. Now I'm suffering from all-over-body ache. Plus blisters on my palms and under my feet. Has to get those blisters bandaid thingy, I can hardly walk properly... damn... Anyway I'm going to continue Kendo next week too! And training will take place twice a week instead of once. Finally no longer a noob. Hhaha.

Tight budget and holiday can never coexist. This is the third day of my 10-day break and I don't have much left for the month. Looking on the bright side, though, going out less probably means more time to do my work at home. That is definitely appreciated.
Once stupid incident that happened 2 days ago. I withdrew some money. I was expecting the account balance to be at most a 100 dollars. Somehow when the recipt was printed out it showed $6000+... I was so, so stunned. Honestly it was beyond words, lol. I knew that something was wrong so tried checking my balance again with a another ATM machine. Sure enough when the recipt was printed out, I only have $90+ left. Stupid freak of a machine, made me so happy for nothing.
My legs hurt so bad and it's making me so lazy these days (excuse, excuse). It's totally uncomfortable! ARgh!
Monday... sigh.... 2 down, 8 days to go. Barely touched my work so I have to really start from today onwards. Got to make a personal plan... 4 main assignments to tackle. Prepare a presentation for English, do a hell load of work for light design, journal assessments for Aus Studies (will probably finish with this first), and lastly a report on "pressure groups" (the toughest out of the four).

It's been quite a while, really busy these days. I have an hour to spare right now and I'll have to go for kendo practice. Two hours later I'll be back here to finish the first part of my English long essay assignment. I'm working on "pressure groups". Something out of my comfort zone, definitely but still really interesting. Though I have to do a lot of reading up on that topic as I have very little prior knowledge on that. It's due tomorrow and I'm very sure I don't have enough info to compile everything together yet. Gonna be a busy night...~~
So... I just got back from design consultation actually. It was extremely helpful and everything is soooo much clearer now. About the lamp design, I'm using Australian architecture as my theme :) The stupid thing is that, during the weekends, I came up with a few ideas. Two of the most practical ones are beer culture and architecture. However, on Monday, the teacher showed us some examples of students' works from the previous years. Two of which were, of course, about beer culture and architecture -_-". I totally discarded the idea of having my theme based on beer as it's too similiar to the example shown and I kept being distracted by that example whenever I tried to come up with new designs. Guess I'll stick to the architecture idea since what I have in mind is considerably different to what I've been shown.
Spent the whole evening yesterday doing sketches and a model, which turned out to be better than intended due to some accidents. Haha. Love it when that happens! It's just a small model actually, but it definitely made me see things in a different light. I'll put the picture up soon!
Have to submit Australian Studies research paper this Friday and it's so fortunate that I realised there's a slight mistake in my work. Will take care of that in no time!~

Lazy beyond words! Only a week away before the recess but already I'm in a holiday mode. There's so much crap to be done but I just can't bring myself to start! Well, at least I'm done with the research essay which is due next Friday. Probably a lousy job but I don't really care anymore (I'd definitely regret later, but nothing's going to bring me to review that stupid essay again).
Design design design! A bloody lamp... -_-" It has to be based on an Australian theme and I have a few in mind but I just can't come up with a design depicting any of them. Oh no...inspiration, where art thou???

Believe the Unbelievable....

"I was always the kid in school

who turned up to each class about an hour late"

-Sexy Naughty Bitchy

LOL. That's exactly what happened to me today. See, I woke up at 8 and thought to myself, "It's still so darn early, gonna go back to bed...". Woke up again at 9 and reall took my time to get ready for a ten o'clock class. Finally at 9.50 I started making my way to class. In the hallway in the Foundation building I saw a classmate so I greeted her. To her surprise she replied, "Where have you been?". I was totally stunned... and it didn't help when she told me that class started an hour ago. HAHAHA. It was a 9 o'clock class but somehow I mistook it as a 10 o'clock one. So dumb! And to think that I had a really nice time earlier in the morning coz I woke up so "early"... LOL.

One super cool thing I found out today is that, 30 September.... SWITCHFOOT is performing in the Uni! OMFG, I still can't believe it! It's just two weeks from now and the venue is just next to where I have my lunch everyday! AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Kendo Maniac!~

Skipped a lecture in the morning today, so ended up going to class at noon. Haha. Not that I woke up late, but was just plain lazy. Had breakfast at home for once.LOL. Been so long that I forgot how it felt like. :)
Anyway, classes were pretty same-old same-old. It's until the evening that things got exciting...KENDO! OMG! LOL.
The beginners joined the intermediates for the training "opening ceremony" (the group kendo workout that requires everyone to stand in a circle). We were excluded from it in the training last week because we knew nothing about kendo. It's great that we got to join in for the first half this time though not the second half because we don't know the advanced moves and steps.
Training was more vigorous this time. Especially when we had to hold the kendo stick in one hand and hit a target repeatedly. It totally exhausted my arm. Haha. We did a hell lot of target hitting today, unlike last week when we focused on footwork. Can't wait until next week! Whooo hooo!

I'm boredified!

BORED

Didn't even do any real work today! If you ask me I seriously would not be able to tell you what I've been doing for the whole damn day. Suddenly it's close to midnight. Damn it. It's so darn boring and I'm feeling sore all over the place! How annoying is that???

Clubbing?

Guess what? I went clubbing for the first time last night. Haha. It was kinda fun, somehow. Hahaha. Before that, my friend described the place as being"full of drunkards and perverts". Can't say that she's wrong, though. LOL. The atmospheare's great, in a sense. It's like being in a place with totally different rules and everything.
Right at the start my friends dragged me onto the dance floor. Omg. Hhahaha. Took me a while to loosen up, but still.... can't dance=can't dance. Hahahah. We were only there for a while anyway, and only had one shot. :( It's so expensive! Shit. Just when my budget is so tight these days, I have to spend it on crazy stuff.
Work progress is, well, nil. Haiz. Today shall be my work day!

Israel House by Peter Stutchbury. My inspiration!

I'm in such a good mood today! Done with the killer presentation (design)! I think it went quite well too! The teacher commented on how I seemed to be enjoying myself while doing the presentation. Also, the images shown worked really well. They kinda captured the attention of the class and the teacher! Hehe, so glad that it's over and really satisfied with the result! Well, I have no idea how I'll do but that doesn't matter now. *SMILE*
Now that the scariest part is over, it's time to tackle the small fries (how I wish they are). Research essay due in 2 weeks and that's it until until after the one week break. When classes resume in October, wow... I'll be bombarded by datelines again. Seminar presentation on the 5th of Oct, journal assessments on 14 Oct, lamp design on the 17th (new addition) and lastly English research paper on the 27th.
Haha, this should help to remind me from time to time. Did a rough draft for the research essay, so should not take long to complete the final one. I'm now more worried about the lamp design!
:( Have to go over the limit to come up with something totally unique! Hehe.

Just got back from Kendo not too long ago. It's freaking amazing. My friend and I made a pact to join the Kendo Club next year, haha. It's that good.
It was really intense at the start, though. Felt like I accidentally joined into boot camp or something. Haha. All the row arrangements and stuff. What's funnier was my friend said that it felt more like a cult group(There's this part where the seniors demonstrated the moves. One, the "leader", began counting 1-10 in Japanese and the rest chimed in. So we had a big group of people, standing in a circle, chanting in a foreign tongue).
It's so steep in tradition too. Even though it's just a gymnasium, we had to bow both when entering and leaving the place. Most of the commands are in Japanese, it's damn cool. Hoping to grasp them as soon as possible. Learned basic footwork for the first half of the class. It's kinda hard coz We had to go bare-feet and it was quite cold. I got cramp twice in one of my feet twice when doing the "rei", a word to describe kneeling down and bowing. Good thing that it was nothing serious, hahaha.
Did play with the sword too! Haha. Though there are only 2 ways to hold it. It's a sign of respect. It's not as heavy as I anticipated, but enough to feel the tension while bringing it up and down, and back and forth. The whole session was pretty much about incorporating the movements (back+forth) and the proper way of holding the sword. Did a little of hitting the target "men" (head). We had to shout the word while doing so. Hahaha.
Man, can't wait for the next class!

Such is (a designer's) life...

Something "remarkable" is going on in my class. Well, not exactly. Everyone seems to be turning against the design studio teacher. It's been an ongoing issue but the most recent grading sort of sparked the flame. Yesterday we were given our grades for the most recent design project, the one about wearable/memories. The average was totally disappointing. What's worse was she showed us the works from another class. They were absolutely gorgeous. Something's definitely not right especially when it's already the 2nd time this happened.
Since the previous project on landscape design, there was a huge difference between designs from our class compared the other. Many blamed the studio teacher for not giving us the right advice and everything, though I didn't agree with them at that point. Here's how the system works. During grading, our designs are inspected by all the design teachers in the department. They will then discuss and come to a final grade on common terms. Here's the strange bit. Each class apparently has two studio teachers. Somehow, our class only has one. To be honest, she doesn't really help much at all during studio lessons. In fact, they are some of the most boring lessons in the whole course. Most of the things she goes through are absolutely boring and hardly have anything to do with the work. We tried asking other students about their teachers and it seems that they've been receiving much more assistance. Maybe it's because they have 2 teachers in studio? Or maybe they just have better teachers? The weirdest thing is that, the head of department seems to have the most say when it comes to grading the project. Her opinions ALWAYS count and our teacher keep quoting her when explaining why we get such low grades. Basically, the positive comments our studio teacher gave may be negative in the eyes of the head of department if she feels that way. That's probably really bad because we can ask our studio teacher for an advice, get one, and proceed with out work only to find out that the head of department doesn't like it and fail our design.
It's probably not right to blame a teacher for bad grades, right? Told myself that too, but it really seems odd now. Everyone in another class produces such great designs and it's so obvious that none of the work from ours can compete with theirs. There shouldn't be such a big contrast, should it? It would be totally understandable if each class contains both good and not-so-good students, but that doesn't seem to be the case here. I'm really beginning to think that it's the differences in teaching styles of the teachers. Honestly, our teacher doesn't help much at all. She provides us with a brief, and that's all about it. It's kinda obvious that my grades have been dropping gradually since the beginning of the year. From A to C+ and then now D(Not the final grade, thankfully). The pattern may be due the nature of each project. It just gets harder throughout the year. The first was relatively simple, everyone can work with papers and stuff. The second was slightly harder. The third was getting more and more complicated. So it's like, with each project it just gets harder and we struggle more because there's really not much help available. Now onto the last project, designing a bloody lamp. If she still doesn't help us with this, I have no idea what's going to happen. I mean, you can't jsut ask someone to make a freaking lamp without offering any advice!
Anyway, everyone's kinda pissed off after getting their grades. My friend even went so far as to ask for a replacement teacher. Everyone else is going to write a complaint when the evalutaion form arrives. Just hope everything gets better for our class.

What a relief. Got my allowance for this month today. Feeling so much better now! Just in time for me to restock my food supplies. :)
Though, more than half is going to paying off rent. Hahaha.
Fwncing was really fun today, too. Had a more combat-like practice and stuff. Know what's even better?? Kendo starts next Wednesday! Can't wait! Hahhaa.
There was also the Courses&Careers Day event in the Uni campus. Was there after fencing class. Got myself a few guidebooks. Hahah, so much reading to do. There was an exhibition from the Built Environment faculty, too. Their work look so professional! Haha, wish I'd be able to do things like that one day!
What else? Hmmm, did a final touch-up for my presentation. It's this coming Friday, and I can't wait to just get it over with. Should be a smooth sailing... I hope. Not to forget this Monday, the moment of truth. Hahha. Getting the results for the previous "wearable" project. Hope to get at least a decent mark. Kinda screwed up the last one. Unfortunately, we'll be receiving a new, and last, project as well. Man, there's barely enough time to breathe. Hahah.

Can't sleep. I'm quite unwell and really tired, but I just can't seem to fall asleep. Really want to know why, as well. Something is on my mind but I can't say for sure.
Had an extremely useless evening earlier. Spent most of my time staring out the window. Things are looking so crazy. Or maybe it's just me, because everything else looks the same.

The previous post was so stupid. I mean, not the theory itself. I was being honest about that. It's just the idea of me going on strike. Not sure what I was thinking when I posted that up. There were a million things on my mind. Anyway, I'm back again. Sooner than I thought.
Guess I have to credit everything to those who made me realise, again, that sometimes my actions are so dumb and unreasonable.

It's so surprising to think how one afternoon can change everything. Just like that. An event that lasted for less than two hours, a lifetime effect on me.
I'm really not sure what to think. Life is like a huge joke that's not even funny from the start. Still, we keep fighting and trying to accept it. We try to hold on to something to get us by. Family, friends, life-long goals etc. Everyone ought to have something. Those who don't, well, they probably have not found it yet. Even then, everyone is the same in the core. Given the chance, we all want it to be much easier. Either that, or the chance to not even be here in the first place. Bullshit, of course. We can't have any of that.
Life's a bitch, we all know that. No point complaining. It's best to maybe just accept it the way it is and live with it instead of making it worse.
From today onwards, I'm thinking of taking a short break. I want to know how it's like to really be alone. We all take things for granted, things that we have so easily. Msn, Skype, whatever. The more we have, the more we demand. It's just the disgusting nature of human beings. I want to experience the real loneliness. Then I'd know the difference between pain in real life and the one that I create in my own head. After that I, hopefully, will learn to aprreciate what I have now more than ever.

Excellent... Woke up today only to find that there's no water anywhere! There was a leak somewhere in the building and so they had to shut down the whole water system while fixing it. What a total bull. Hhahaa. Used bottled water to freashen up. Felt like some kind of a refugee. LOL. Ever seen the REAL out-of-bed style? Should have seen me today! Hhhaha. It's so funny.

Ok, so one down and many more to go. Assginments race of mine. *sigh*.
Became lazier and lazier the past few days too. All I did was mainly eat, sleep and watch tv. Haha, crap. I'm losing the energy that I once had at the beginning of the semester! No no... don't say that. Haha. Will get myself back on track from today onwards! A few more weeks and this course will be over!
Talking about the end of the course, I'm kind of wishing for it to end as soon as possible. Come next year, as a University student, I want to make a fresh new start. There seem to be things going in the wrong direction in many aspects. Though I'm not sure what they are. Probably just my gut feeling, but that's what got me here today. Haha, not sure if that's a good or a bad thing myself. I do realise that a big part of me was actually shaped by experinces I had with people in the past. Both positively and negatively, as well.
Sometimes it's kind of scary to think. Like how some people can be so calm and collected under pressure, I believe my trait sort of shines when it comes to compromising and giving in. Nah, not making myself sound noble. Honestly, without that quality, there's probably nothing in myself that I can be proud of.(Hahaha)
Anyway, talking about that trait. I think that in some ways it wears me down as well. Sometimes I just don't knowwhat I want for myself. Sometimes even afraid of doing the things that I really want. Probably sounds crazy. It does even to myself typing this out. Haha. Ever since as a child, and I still do now, I love being the follower to someone else and never a leader. I'm more happy to tag along rather than to come up with a plan for I have no idea if that's going to be the best for everyone. Oh no, I'm lost in my own words again. Not sure how I got to this. Haha.
I think I know that sometimes I need to stand my ground and not be swayed by outside influences, especially from people. That's probably what I'm going to do in the near future. Slowly, of course. I'll still have to stay true to myself and stick to the best traits in me, no matter that sometimes they are the ones that probably kill me as much as the bad ones. Still, they got me this far, yeah? Just in need of some improvement, that's all! Hahaha, cheers to the bright future!

Haha, here by demand.

Have to present it in less than half an hour. So best of luck to myself!

Project 3 completed...(hand not included)

Done with the first project of this semester. Total crap! Had a really nice start with the project, and everything WAS looking well. Hahhaa, half way there I got really sick of it and from that point on I just wanted to finish it as soon as possible. Yep, that's the outcome. Hahaha. Just glad that it's over, though. The only thing left to be done is to present it tomorrow. Not going to be a problem, I think.
Not much going on lately actually. Probably explains why I have not been posting up any new entries. Hope it's going to be more happening now that the project is done. There'll be a week break, praying for two, before we are given the last project of the year. Really want some time to concentrate on other assignments.

A part of my design project...(Sequence of development, from left to right)


Ultra bored right now. Haha. Been working on my design for hours without realising it. Since my mind is on design work right now, I'm posting up a pic of my work (what little there is to show at this point anyway). Probably just one third of the way to completing the whole piece. It's due next Monday, so not much time left! Come 'on! Inspiration!

Played with a sword today in fencing class. Haha, kinda cool! Practised poking on the wall. Though it's really hard to aim properly... Hahaha.Went to the Powerhouse Museum too. It was awesome! The design exhibition, especially the section showing products by the young designers of the year. There were so many things on display. Too many, in fact. Hahaha, only completed two out of three levels. Didn't have the time to explore more as it was closing by then. Anyway even if we had the time, don't think we'd have the energy.At first I planned to go home right away after. Was dragged into watching The Skeleton Key. Haha, I kinda wanted to watch it but I just wasn't in the mood. I did in the end, anyway. It's sort of... predictable. Really little scare value, too.True enough, because of that movie, I'm so far behind my personal schedule of the day. So much work left to be done. Hahaha. Think I'll only be able to finish some of them and cram everything to tomorrow! Yosh!~

Getting sick and tired of work. It's like my only form of entertainment or something. Well, of course there's the telly. Still, the wide variety of assignments in hand is drving me nuts! Imagine life where work is left, right, and everywhere! When I'm bored with design, I'd go "Think I'll study Australian Studies. Nah nah, maths is easier. Maybe I'll do that and prepare for presentation when it's done."
At least my design presentation summary is ALMOST done. Spent hours and hours doing that. Gonna print it out and see what my design teacher has to say. She'd better like it or else....! Haha, I just don't want to make major changes to it later or anything. Don't think I have the energy and time for that.
When that is complete, I'll have to prepare the presentation itself. Be it on powerpoint or transparencies, something that can get me talking for freaking 45 minutes. Return the bloody book to the library by the end of the month, and at the same time borrow more to work on my Australian Studies paper. Though I think life is going to be much better when the design stuff is done.

Spent my time in the house today. Ate, work and slept. Still waiting for my brother to pass me the cable for his digital camera. Apparently it's with his friend and he's going to collect it tomorrow. Well, no hurry anyway. Just thought that the sooner I get it, the better. Want to start on my work as soon as possible.
All my assignments datelines seem to spread out evenly throughout the semester. This is great as I don't have to rush through them at any given point in time. Though I'm quite stuck with my wearable design work. Somehow I don't "dare" to progress. I really don't know why. Well, not going to worry about it now. Probably it's best to just focus on other assignments.
They say this semester will fly by really quickly. I really wish that it's true. Even though I'm here physically, my mind is always somewhere else. It's really hard to deal with the situation when there's nothing that I can possibly do but to try to make the best out of what is given to me here. Maybe I'm being unfair to always compare everything to the place that I love and the people that can really bring out the person that I truly am. Still, another 6 years are going to be really long. Well, I may eventually grow to like the place and this lifestyle. On the other hand, I may crash and go crazy trying.
Want to leave this place. Haha.

Made additional changes to the forum last night, thanks to Danny for passing me more photos!
First fencing class today! It was really interesting. Though we didn't get to play with the swords, we learned a little about them. There are in total 3 types, a sabre, a rapier, and another which I don't remember the name :S Anyway all are used differently...So cool! Practised a lot of footwork and until now my legs are still quite sore. Haha, but it was really fun! Can't wait for Kendo to start next month!
Went to the Reverse Garbage again after that, a really long and tiring journey. Got myself more materials. At least this time they look more useful and relevant to my idea. Haha
Bought some food to restock my fridge as well. Same old, same old. Now? At home to face yet another Saturday afternoon. Haha, guess I'll just start with my work to occupy myself.

Schedule

I'm really bored! Can actually go home since 2 hours ago, but I'm just accompanying my friend to a consultation session. We're going to the city after that. It's just that I have this voucher for a clothing store, so I just wanna use it before it expires in a few days time. Haha...
Ok, so this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to list down all the assignments that I need to work on for this semester...
Design project 3(Friendship) --- due in 2-3 weeks(not so sure)
Design presentation summary --- due 31st of August
Design presentation --- 5th of September
Australian Studies Research Essay --- 23rd of September
Journal Asessments --- 14th of October
English Seminar presentation --- 5th of October
English Research Paper --- 27th of October

Yep, I'm back. Been to a design consultation today, and it was really useful! Making a huge progress in terms of development of ideas.
I'm making this face mask that reflects how memories of my friends (you guys) affect me. So there's this half that will be all the happy memories, with appropriate decorations and the other resembles the loneliness I feel coz I'm alone here. I really like the idea of making something that reflects how I really feel. Sometimes I'd smile thinking of all the stupid things we did, but at other times I'd feel really down doing so.
I think this project really allows me to explore hidden feelings that I have inside. I came up with a number of ideas regarding to things that happened to me in the past, or emotions that still affect me now. I just decided to go with the "mask" idea coz it means so much to me!

Semester 1 Results!

What a day...
Had sushi for lunch, and soon after there were red patches all over my face! ALLERGY! Haha, what the shit. It's so embarrassing! My classmate passed me her handkerchief, saying that I should wet it and put it over my face to get rid of the patches. So yeah, had to walk to the toilet with a pink handkerchief!~ Sigh, but the it really worked though. Haha
OK~ My semester 1 results are out! English(A-), Australian Studies(B-), Computing Studies(C+), Design(B+), Maths(A+). GPA=8.4
Ok, QUITE satisfied, though I'm very sure I could do better. Expected an even lower score for computings, but was hoping to get a better result for Australian Studies. English...well... I still remember the state I was in while sitting for the paper. Half-dead. Haha, so I guess this grade is reasonable!

Sleeping as my favourite hobby for the day...
I miss S'pore, haha. Wanna "Zuo Bo" again, it's so cool. Wanna crash at all your places again. Wanna hang out with all of you again...
Week 1 went by so quickly I didn't even notice it. On to week 2, towards bigger things. Sigh~

Ok I decided to take up fencing and kendo instead. Taido is way too expensive, hahaha. Feel like someone going crazy with a "stick"....

This semester...

Ok I decided to make some changes to myself this semester. Firstly, I'm beginning to watch my diet. Haha, felt so proud when I put a bottle of Pepsi back on the shelf in the supermarket the other day!
Hmm what else? Oh, I'm taking up fencing and Taido! Gonna be so fun! Actually there are so many cool activities but I didn't join them the previous semester because when my course started, most of the activities already began. I didn't want to join in half-way. This semester, then, is my chance. Haha, actually I wanted to join either Kickboxing or capoeira. Sadly, the training dates all clash with my timetable. *Sigh*
It's ok, though, fencing looks really cool too! Always wanted to try my hands on it. Taido seems fun as well, a weird Japanese martial arts. Initially I was even thinking of volleyball. Haha, but changed my mind due to various reasons. LOL
Haiz, this semester seems much more interesting! Not just work and more work like before. Shit, but I need to get myself back on track soon. I was out shopping today, too. Haha, talk about distractions! Ok, that'll be my last.
Ok, hope to have a great semester ahead. It's going to be a short one, so all the way I go!

The GREAT adjustment

This semester, there are so many new students! I mean, a new course just started and these students are crowding up the campus!Plus, students from another course are also joining our lectures and classes. Don't ask me how, but that's the way the system works.
So... new students=new possibilities! A horde of new students=even greater possibilities! The standard is quite good too, from what I observed from the past 2 days! Muahahaha~~
Ok ok, stop admiring the flowers. Received a hell lot of work so far. Two presentations, one report and a design project. The datelines have not been set for some of them, so I have to play my cards right and not have everything crammed up. Haiz.... Such is a student's life.
Semester 1 results will be out this Friday too! Have to check it on the web. Shit! This is so scary! Better be good or it's going to be a totally bad start to the new semester...
PS: There's a picture of me in the campus weekly magazine! It's so funny! I was really blown away when I saw it on the first day, hahahaha!

Late post

Was supposed to put this up last night, but what was planned as a short nap turned out to be an overnight sleep.
Missing everything so much. Felt like just yesterday. The stupidest thing is when I logged on to the MSN and saw the nickname I used before the trip, "Never been so thrilled..."
All too fast. Know I didn't say this in person, but I can't thank you guys enough. I realised there were many sacrifices on your part to keep me company, be it social or school life. Really appreciate what you did. As if you all put many things on hold for the past one and a half week. Don't think I can show my gratitude enough just with words...
It was a real mess yesterday. Rather, I was a real mess. When I wasn't dozing off in class, I was thinking of the trip. Arriving at Sydney airport, I kept asking myself what the hell was I doing here. Under certain circumstances words like "dbc" and "nooo" would pop into my head. Totally hilarious. Spent about an hour sorting out the photos, too. That's basically what I did after school before taking a "nap". I was just so tired. Fell asleep while taking down notes during lessons too, now there are so many incoherent scribbles in my book. Thought I had a dream of us all as well. So many memories...
The best logical reason(or rather, consolation) I came up with is, it's actually the distance that made our gathering so precious. Like they say, "Distance makes the heart grows fonder." Still, looking forward to see you guys again as soon as possible. Didn't plan this initially, but now I know for sure that I will see you guys in December.

In Singapore now...YAY!
It's really really hot here! But that's alright, not a problem! Haha, been really excited but equally shocked to be here, too. Haha, there are still many things to look forward to.

:)

Under

Done with the english paper, would call it an "under-performance". I was so sleepy and couldn't really concentrate. For instance, I would read a passage just to find that I didn't absorb any information at all. The same applied for reading the questions. Haha, *sigh*
It's alright. Only one more paper to go. Good or bad, I'm not going to give two hoots about it! Hehe~

Vent

Oh man, I'm too excited about the trip that I have to write it somewhere. Why can't time just freaking fly these few days? It always does, doesn't it? Hahaha, but hey, suddenly Sunday is coming to an end. Well, sort of.
I'm much more relaxed in my study today, and more efficient too. Hehhe, a positive outlook always get the job done!
SO THRILLED THINKING ABOUT THE TRIP! The ticket is lying on my freaking desk! Hahaha, and I don't want to put it away! I glance at it from time to time!
Excited about the trip, nervous about the upcoming papers, anxious to get all the packing done!

Latest life update

Latest life update... Sat for 3 out of 5 papers so far. Computing studies was the hardest!!! What a way to start off on Monday. Maths was on Thursday, and I'm aiming for an A+. Hehehe, hope I get it! Just today I had the design paper, so-called hardest of the 5. Well, it's the most unpredictable one. Ended up study too much of the unimportant stuff. Crammed the content knowledge for the past week, and it came out only for the MCQ. The two essays were based on design groups and influences. The first one was still ok, compare any 2 styles of my choice. Chose Bauhaus and Droog, the latter being the one I had to do for my presentation so my knowledge on that is quite good. The second essay was the crazy one. It's design analysis based on Art Nouveau. I had absolutely no idea what it was until the morning before the paper my friend was telling me about it. I mean, I've heard about that style but I was not sure of the characteristics. So she was telling me before the exam that it's about "organic forms, earth-toned, curve lines which represent the female curves.." And that was it, I went into the hall with that much knowledge on the style. Was hoping it wouldn't come out, but it did. So yeah, ended up writing a narrative essay for the last part! Haha, haiz... but I'm not sad or anything...I still think I can pass, maybe just not as well as I had hoped.
Went to the reverse garbage after the paper today, too. Intended to get the materials ready for the project in the next semester. Ended up buying some fabrics and laces...haha not sure what to do with them at all! Well, guess that how it always starts with design projects...
Got home feeling sick. Quite a headache, actually. Still feeling quite giddy now, but getting better. Guess I really had a rough time the past few days. I couldn't really sleep, and had to lie in bed for hours before I finally did. Worse, I would get freakish nightmares and wake up constantly! Gosh, I still remember one night I had a really gruesome, bloody dream. I was shot in the lift, blood everywhere... Woke up in the hospital bed, started walking about(not sure how it's possible!) with blood on me. Found the person who shot me, a brawl fight broke out. More blood..... I woke up sweating.... T_T
Oh well, this is the long-awaited break before I face the last 2 paper! English and Aussie Studies, which means I only have one more subject left to study!

Torturous Countdown

It's really hard to believe, but there's only a week more to go. End of exams, end of semester, and most importantlythe Singapore. Now what would it be like if I had not bought that ticket? Haha, can't even bear to think about that.
I'm so excited, but in a mild sense... Not the "woohoo" kind. My head is constantly flooded with last year's memories, haha. For the past 2 nights I had dreams about the trip. It's just such a great part of my life, that's all.
Oh, sitting for my first paper tomorrow. Computing studies. Hate it. Hahaha. Hope I do well, though. Even though it's the paper with the smallest weightage, it's the one I have the most trouble with. Haha, *sigh*.

Wind wind

It's really windy today. Looking out my window now I can see the roof of BP gas station shaking! Scary! Hahaha. Went out a while ago with the intention to return DVDs and buy some food. I did return the DVDs, but had to come home because the supermarket is quite far. Hahaha the wind was too strong and I had to retreat...
My feet are freezing cold..!! Went out in my sandals... hahahah, so stupid! Shit... now the sun is coming out. The wind is still strong, though. Guess I'll just go to the supermarket later today, then. Haha.
Revised my Australian studies yesterday, doing design today. It's so hard to prepare for design! Fortunately, earlier this morning I found some old notes that I've not gone through in detail before and found out that they are really useful. Haha... a great start!
I'm actually more worried than stressed. I don't know why! :S I made a study plan and everything is going in a pretty comfortable pace. Not sure if that's good or bad, haha.
Oh well, soon it'll be all over!

What the!

What a way to end the semester... I overslept and because of that, missed 2 classes in the morning. What am I saying? All in all I only attended one class in the afternoon, that's the only other one besides those I missed earlier anyway. So, yep...stupid me! Missed maths, so much for preparing the questions for consultation the night before. Missed Aussie Studies lecture too, the lecturer went through the exam format and techniques. Wahhhh!
It's ok, at least I've got the notes. Have to look through them on my own, :(
Oh, I'll be having a study break until next Wednesday, and that's when my first paper begins! Freaking computing studies... I hate spreadsheets....

Alter ego

Hohoho~~ Now, I came up with something. Adrian is stupid, dumb and irrational! Thanin is not! It's so weird, but putting it this way sort of explains things a little clearer. Ok, I know it's besides the point. Though it's better to at least have an explanation for it even if it does not really make any sense, right? Hahaha, so in a few weeks...No more Adrian! Adrian is a person who goes through student life in Sydney. Thanin is a part of a super cool bunch of close-knitted friends!
Thanin WILL have fun in Singapore. I WILL have fun in Singapore. WE WILL have fun in Singapore. Hahaha, I'm a nut case. Well, nothing new! LOL. Oh man. I've been so dumb! OK, now I'm looking forward to everything and nothing will get in my way!~

Unknown

I don't know what to say right now. I'm feeling really shaky, emotionally and all. It's so funny, the things that give you the most are also the same ones that hurt you really bad. For the past few 2-3 months I was "free" from these. It wasn't good, but it's not bad either. Now? Things are good at one moment, it's hell the next. I don't know...which is a better bargain?
I'm so angry all the time it's exhausting. I can't help it, I don't know why. Every little thing disturbs me, no matter how petty it may be. I'm not like myself at all. Why can't I just laugh things off anymore? It's so fucking high school, but I guess that's when it all started anyway.
The hardest part? No one will ever get what I'm trying to say. There's only one. I don't know, I'm not trying to be "pitiful" or crap like that. I've brought myself into this mess, now I can't just walk away. Until the end of this month, I'll never know if the decision I made was for the better or worst. It's so scary.
Fuck. I'm so angry at everything. I can't stand it. I don't want to but I can't do anything about it. I'll really go mad if this goes on. Exams are on next week, I can't afford to be distracted by all these. Fuck. Had a bad headache today because of this too. I'm so stressed out over things that I shouldn't be. Is it really worth it to go through so much just to get some happiness? Or is it even necessary to make it so difficult?

By the way...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DANNY!~

My week, in one entry

Exams are drawing closer and closer everyday. On average, I've been going to bed earlier for the past week. Strangely though, every morning I found myself waking up a few hours before I was supposed to. It's really annoying and I don't know why.
The most interesting thing that happened would be the handing out of a list of designers. This is a project for next term actually. It's am individual presentation on any designer on the given list. It's quite amazing. There are famous people like Steven Spielberg and Quentin Tarantino! :O Of course there are brand names like Christian Dior, Chanel etc. Think I'm going to choose an architect, to give myself more exposure to it before I study it next year. So goodbye to Tarantino (I'm such a fan of Kill Bill!). Right now there are two architects that I'm looking at. One, Peter Stutchbury, famous for working in the bush landscape (the country side). The other, IM Pei, a Chinese architect known for his eclectric design and extensive use of glass and steel. Such a hard decision! I personally like Stutchbury's approach of blending a design to the natural environment, something that is not urban architecture! On the other hand, IM Pei's work really really coincides with my father's business...which ultimately is what I revolve around anyway. Ohhhhh, a tough call!

Possible Future

Sorry all, but I still don't have a mic yet! WILL get one tomorrow, alright? Promise!~
Anyway, it's possible that I'll be doing a double degree in University next year. Architecture+Social Science(Psychology)! As you may already know, I like psychology too. The other day I was talking to a friend and found out about this option, so I'm thinking of having a go at it. Though, it'll be a hell load of work. So, it's still a pending idea!
By the way, finally finished my freaking design work! Concept statement, perspective drawing, folio and most importantly the 3D model! Tomorrow is the day...and it's over! Soooo happy!

Crashed

Soooo tired. For the past 2 days, I've been doing my design work non-stop and nothing else. That's why I've not been online at all, too! Sorry guys...
My work is quite...satisfactory, but I wouldn't want to make any more changes. I don't have the energy for that anymore, and even if I did... there's just not enough time. Haiz~~ Anyway, it's not that bad, better than nothing.
Ok, I need to get some sleep. Still have to do perspective drawings for the design! :(

Lost in Time

It was such a strange day. Like, as if I just woke up from a really long sleep or something. Yesterday we celebrated one of our classmates birthday. Spent a hell lot of money on food, a movie, karaoke...plus more and more food. Had sake during dinner at a Japanese restaurant and soju at during supper at a Korean place. They never tasted this good. Maybe coz it's the first time I had them when it's freezing outside. Afterall, that's what they're meant for in the first place, right? Was screaming in a karaoke later. Initially wanted to stay there for the whole night but it was too expensive. Anyway, it was so dynamic. We were singing in so many different languages. Two girls sang in Japanese, four guys could all sing in Mandarin (including me!) and also Cantonese (excluding me). I was singing a few Thai songs... wonderful! Surprisingly, english songs weren't very famous. We only started choosing them when we ran out of ideas. Anyway, it was really fun.
Woke up this morning, afternoon actually, feeling really sore. Did some revision for a few hours before going straight back to bed. Woke up again an hour later to do a bit more of work. Had dinner followed by watching tv and finally I'm back to revision... and blogging, of course.
Still waiting for my e-air ticket, though. SQ is so sophisticated, which is really good. I hate flying! Plus, I can watch in-flight movies too!
See you all really soon! It's so exciting!

Moment of Truth

I'm using my school com to post this up. Just waitng for my design consultation, which is about 10 minutes from now.
Anyway, I got my air ticket to S'pore! Ok, I reserved it... did not have enough cash to pay for it at taht moment. Some changes though. Instead of going there on 19 July, I can only be there on the 20th. Will probably reach Changi Airport in the afternoon. Around 2-3 pm, I think. BUT, to make up for that, my return flight to Sydney will be on the 31st instead of the 30th. Well, it's a midnight flight. Technically I'll be going back to Sydney on the 1st of ...what month is it? August? Hhhaa, think so.

Happy Hours

OH MY GOSH! I'm re-united with my long-lost cards at last! It was at the Lost&Found in a bus terminal. I'm sooooooooooooooooooo relieved! I called the station at about 10am, right about the time they open. At first the operator told me there had been no report whatsoever of a card holder. Imagine how I felt, man. I've been telling myself that, after this very call, if there's still no sign of the cards...I'll just give up and call my father. BUT.... she asked me to describe it to her again. A glimmer of hope :):):):) ... so I did. Before I finished, she asked me "Foundation studies?". BINGO.... "YEAH!". It's so embarrassing, but I was damn sure I sounded overexcited. Anyway, another surprise? She asked me for my name, so I spelled it out to her "T-H-A-N-I-N". What happened then was that, she read out my surname. She did a nice job of it too. I was so shocked to find someone capable! Hahaha, though I also think she may be a Thai. With that and her accent, I think I may be right! Anyway, I took a cab to the place right away. OH MY DARLING!

Standing still.

What can I say? I'm so bored now. I have my design work to do, but I want to let my teacher check if it's on the right track. Don't wanna risk ruining the work. So I'll leave that for tomorrow.
Gosh, cards cards cards. The thought is really bugging me. Was trying to contact another bus service Lost&Found depot, but I think it doesn't operate today. I couldn't get through. It's a public holiday afterall.
Oh man, it's so gloomy today. Not doing any good to my mood at all. It's only now that I really know what it means to be lonely and insecure. Before, just a click on my mobile and I can talk to someone. Haha, missing those days already.
Don't know why, I have to do something all the time. I can't seem to sit still. It's so annoying. I feel really uncomfortable to just sit down and let it be. It's like, I have to find myself something to do. It's horrible. However, I am always progressing with my assignments. Which is a good thing, of course.
Wahh. Who am I? Why am I here? What if.....? Too many questions. Useless to ponder over them, duh. It's scary how time changed me. I'm becoming so different each day. I feel and do things which I'd never imagine myself being capable of. Maybe it's just a rite of passage or something. A period of time when I move on to adulthood? Hahaha, nonsense. It's too soon! Also, I don't think I'm the type who's very mature. Haiz.
I really want to do something, but don't feel like studying. So I'll just go on. So, where was I? Haha, yeah... time. I find myself to be more competitive these days. Maybe just a little, but I really hate that kind of attitude on anyone. Well, maybe it helps to motivate you at times. Though, I think many of the disputes between individuals are also caused by this. Anyway, I really don't want to become like that. What else... oh, has anyone notice if I became more defensive? I don't know, I just have this feeling that I'm always guarded about everything. One wrong step from someone and I'll either withdraw to my comfort zone or snap back, the latter not being very nice, of course. What else is there? Breaking down? Well, that happens all the time since years back. Now it may be more common, though usually started off with an alcohol boost. Sigh, reminding myself not to do that anymore. It's dangerous. Who knows what I'll end up doing?
Just a little bit more, have this feeling that I'm forgetting something. Not sure what. Anyway, I'll just move on. I'm really scraping the barrels to fill this up. Good for me. Making sure that I'm not hiding anything deep down.
It's so funny to think about the rut I'm in. In Maris Stella years, I had academic obstacles. Scoring, more like getting a pass, in as many subjects as possible. Friends were a big part in everyday life. Both good and bad, haha. Way too many things happened in one year, guys. Not sure how we made it through. Anyway, now, I think it's the total opposite. I'm cruising through my assignments. Well, I'm not THAT well off but surely better than before. I still face everyday obstacles, but this time it's solely on myself. Like, everything that happens, it's all me. I'm tackling all MY problems on MY own. Unlike the times when shit was thrown by one person to another. Not a very nice image, but get what I mean? At least at those times, there were always people to fight through the problems together. That made things much easier. It's so different now. How many times in your life can you find someone new to listen to all your problems and understand you? I think everyone is fortunate enough to just get one opportunity, and I think I already used up mine. Yeah, I seriously think so.

Nothing to lose...

Drink when I'm sad....

Hey guys, I've made up my mind. See you all in a month! Yeah, I've decided to go to S'pore afterall. No more nagging, alright? :P
Anyway, the only problem now is... I need to get back my ATM card and...and every other card for that matter. It's driving me insane. I really don't want to tell my father, but I'd have to if I can't get them back. I'm starting to lose my grip again, and it's not looking really good at all.

Horo reading

He does not care what people think when he behaves strangely. He could be walking bare feet and laughing at people who laugh at him and think they are so narrow minded.He likes to search and analyze people and things. He will analyze his friends or his girl friend, and once the mystery is gone, he will search for new puzzles to solve. He cannot easily understand things, so he will gradually learn about you till he fills up all his questions.He knows so many people ,but he has few friends. He looks for quality friends than quantity. He will be close with some friends shortly and move on. He always feel lonely even when surround by many people. He could create his own little world, and sometimes no one would understand him
He hates lies, so he will not tell you lies. If he finds it is necessary to lie, he will find other ways not to tell you or avoid telling you anything. If he really has to lie, you will never be able to tell that he is lying. He can really keep secrets, so you will hardly know that he is a lonely soul.He sees anythings in details and not easily trusted people till he thinks he knows them well. You can just smile and he will wonder why and what are you smiling about, and if you are pretending. Once he trusts you and accept you as a friend, no one can say other wise to change that for he will not listen to gossip. He will be honest and sincere to his friends.
A man with a conflict personality. He is a cool, understanding, able to work well, and very artistic. Taurus man could be an artist. He could shock you as much as he is able to clam you down when you are upset. He is a free spirit who likes to venture, but when he wants to be alone, do not touch him but to let him be. He won't disappear from the crowds too long, he will be back.
Those born under the sign of Taurus love to save money, but they also know how to spend it, especially on the ones they love. Truly one of the most committed signs of the Zodiac, Taurus is in it for the long haul.
Taurus does not like change, actually it can be quite an albatross around his neck. Change is not always good, but sometimes change is necessary, and this is where the stubbornness of the bull can really cause problems. The bull will only rise to the occasion when he has too, but when he does, you better look out because nothing is going to stop him or turn him aside. Taurus people are very adept at finding creative ways of building up the home. The home and family is considered to be their highest priority.

A horoscope reading by "HoroBeng" or whatever that is....
Got to say it's the most accurate one without being corny...

Kicking my ASS!

Oh SHIT SHIT SHIT! Guess what! I lost my freaking card holder! Meaning, I lost my student card, ATM card, and every other valuable card imaginable! Including the JJH pic you gave me too, Danny! Oh shit, I feel like an idiot right now! Earlier when I was buying the movie ticket, I realised I couldn't find my cardholder anywhere! Damn it! Stupid stupid....
Think I dropped in while alighting from the bus in the city. I was pretty sure I heard something, was curious but didn't pay much attention. Oh shit, think that must be it. Hope like hell someone nice will find it and report it or something... Most of the cards have my name or face on it... FEEL SO DUMB!! ARGH!

Brief disruption

My internet was down yesterday (or was it 2 days ago?). Anyway, so glad that it's back up and working again. So funny how I was much more focused on my work without it, haha.
So, starting from Monday, it was sooo funny. I woke up at about 9.10am. Wasn't sure if it was a Sunday or a Monday. Almost went back to sleep when I realised I had an English presentation, haha. Freaked out real bad! The lesson started at 9.00am, but I got there at about 9.30. Fortunately the teacher didn't penalise me for that. True enough, I was still damn sleepy during the whole presentation. Lucky me that it was a short one, though.
So...two down, one more to go. Next Thursday, yo! Oh, finally finalised my park design...sort of. Drove myself crazy last week because I couldn't come up with anything decent. Well, I'm looking into a park that uses mainly rocks as the main principle. Haha, made a rough sketch last night and just made an improved version of it a few hours ago. Bought materials from an art shop today, too. Made mini furnitures while watching "Bad Santa". A hell of a show. It's just so nice.
I'll be attending workshops after school for the next 2 days. The first, which is tomorrow, is on presentation skills. I think. The second one is on public speaking. Signed up for them coz I think those stuff may come in handy later. Just hope it's not boring or anything. Two hours for each, man....

Unclipping the wings of Time

Wow, time really flies these days. Suddenly each week pass by so quickly. Ok, did a presentation on Ned Kelly yesterday. I think it went quite alright, though nervousness made me missed some points. Haha. I had to include paintings from an artist by the name of Sidney Nolan in my presentation. What I did was, I showed a picture together with every events that I mentioned. Surprisingly, at the end of the presentation, the teacher told me that, in her 4 years teaching at the UFY, I was the first to do that! O.O Apparently all her previous students who chose this topic presented Ned's details and the paintings separately. I was speechless!~
Basically that's all I remembered from the week, haha. Nice ending too, as it was my last class on Friday. Anyway, i just completed my seminar paper on the presentation on the topic before blogging this. Have to hand it in next week. Ok...one down and two more to go. Have an English presentation next Mon and finally the design presentation on Thursday, the week after. When all's done, it'll be study time.
Oh, must not forget my design project too. Making a park, haha. Tomorrow a group of us will be going to a park to do some sketching and observe the atmosphere and the proportions of trees and stuff. Starting this project sparked my interest in landscape architecture. It's so much nicer than an architect designing buildings. Ohhhhhhh noooooo, maybe I'll have a change in career. Hahaha, got to wait and see!