Absolute Void

I'm enjoying my holidays in a really strange fashion. Finally getting the chance to really tidy up my house. Finallly get to read those subscribed magazines I've only managed to skim through in the last months. Doing the simple, domestic things just makes me so happy right now. I don't want to care about much. I want more me-time. Like, you know, just thinking about myself and nothing/no one else at the moment. I feel so in control of everything right now, and I haven't felt like that in a long time. No stray thoughts at the back of my head. You know those ones that just keep nagging at you even though you try not to pay attention to them? Thoughts that only serve to work you up.
Yeah, I just know that myself is the only thing that makes sense to me right now. Gonna kiss the world goodbye for at least a few days just to recuperate. Anything or anyone else but me would just ruin the moment. And that's the last thing I need at this point. Happy Holidays.

Back...with a Vengence

I thought that, after the final week of uni this semester, I'd be happy. Well, I am... but just not the way I had anticipated. Taking aside the overbearing workload, especially in the last 2 weeks or so (I went without any sleep for 2 consecutive nights at one point for a particularly annoying assignment. On the third day I was basically floating rather than walking...), the semester has been such a big emotional leap. Friendships strengthened in unexpected places, and ties severed in others...and then somewhat recovered. Drifts created unintentionally, some deliberately. Had a huge breakthrough in my personal life for the first time. But above all is, no doubt, choosing the worst person to fall for. That took such a toll on me, in everyway possible. If, for some reason, I'd forget everything about this semester... this would be the last thing to go.

Surprising how much you can learn about yourself by looking at others. You spot certain qualities that you admired and want as your own. At times I passively compete to be as good as someone else, though mostly I just envy them for those traits. Definitely this semester made me feel more real as a person. Both my strengths and weaknesses are put to the test. That left me knowing what I can use to my advantage in the future, and what I can improve. Both academically and socially. If first year was an adapting process, this year would seem like a critical analysis of where I stand since.

One more assignment and an exam to go before the actual holiday commences. Not going anywhere, just hoping to get a job and hopefully will get to use my time wisely.

(My last model for the semester. Broke it big time on its way to the exhibition. Fixed it as best I could on the spot!)